SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
