Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
