Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
