dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
