Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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