the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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