I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
