Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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