thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
