If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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