"it" just moved
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
