I'm gonna have a badass scar
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
