You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
