pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
