Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
