honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
