I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i believe in u and ur pee
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
