This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
