So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
