did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
