Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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