what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
