ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
