That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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