He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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