Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
