Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
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We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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