Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
