So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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