Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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