Pappa wants mamma naked
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
