ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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