there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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