The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
