Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We need to rekindle our bromance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
