i don't like sucking hair
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
