DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
