like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
