but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
