A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
