i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
