I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
one might say we're banned from that church
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
