i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
