Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
