why didn't you poke me back
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
