guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
two words...techno handjob
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
