How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
ok first of all what the fuck
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
