I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
