It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
