dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
