I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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