thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
BRING THE BAGELS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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